Rob Edwards feels a weight has been lifted from his shoulders after two weeks of reflection and realisation on a rocky period for Luton that he admits has “been tough for quite a long time”.
A fortnight ago, he saw his Hatters side thumped 5-1 at Middlesbrough and he waved to the travelling supporters in a way that many interpreted as a goodbye, before giving interviews that hinted at the end of his tenure as manager.
On those comments, where he said he did not want to be a “divisive figure”, Edwards said: “I just spoke honestly and with emotion at the time. At that point, all I did care about was the football club and supporters and that was it. So yeah, a bit of time has passed and I’ve been able to refocus.”
But the axe did not fall during the international break and Edwards returned to his pre-match press conference duties today, more determined than ever to turn around Town’s flagging fortunes.
But, as well as having to find the solutions on the football pitch, the Town manager alluded to deeper issues within himself that he’s working hard to address.
He said: “I’d rather not talk too much personal stuff, if that’s all right, but I think it’s just an area that I felt a lot of weight and maybe I’ve got to try and work out that, ultimately, I know it’s my responsibility, but I’m not in control of everything. Maybe I’ve been beating myself up a bit too much as well.
“I’m desperate to do well for for this club and for everyone connected to the club and, yeah, maybe I’ve just let it sort of affect me, hurt me, too much.
“Because, like I’ve said before, we built such a close connection. I felt like a fan as well as being in a privileged position to be the manager. So, yeah, it’s an area that I’m trying to work on at the moment and improving that.”
While he didn’t want to reveal too much, understandably, but in what he did explain, Edwards’ demeanour appeared lighter and asked if a weight has been lifted by his personal revelations of the last two weeks, he said: “Yeah, I think so.
“Without going too deep, football’s so, so important to us, to all of us. Look how it’s made me feel at times over this last year. It’s really serious business and it can make a lot of our weekends, our weeks, so I don’t want to go too deep on it, but there’s life as well, isn’t there?
“And I can’t really allow that then to affect every aspect of my life, which maybe it’s been doing. I’m trying to focus on that.”
He added: “It’s been tough for quite a long time now. There’s been a lot of challenges on and off the pitch, and I’m working on that. I’m working on that.”
Certainly, this last year has come with more than just the difficulties of a relegation from the Premier League and Town’s stuttering form this term that has left them just above the Championship drop zone. He’s had to deal with his captain Tom Lockyer suffering a heart attack on the pitch and effectively being dead for two minutes and 40 seconds as medics battled – successfully in the end – to revive the Welshman.
“There is a lot of support for us,” Edwards said of the measures that have been put in place by the club to help players and staff.
“But yeah, maybe going back to around that time, I think it’s probably been something that we’ve spoken about more and making sure that people do talk to people or seek help if needed.”
After the Boro defeat, Edwards admitted that his future was not in his hands. Asked if he thought about quitting, the manager said: “There was a lot that went through my mind in the immediate aftermath of the game. A lot. But a short period of time to think, reflect, and know that this is a good challenge for me now to go through.
“And every manager, really, has to go through these sorts of tough times. We’ve had a lot of success in a short space of time, a couple of promotions, an amazing year last year. Got to come through this, got to show the strength, the belief, the resilience and I’m determined to do that.”
With a fortnight’s distance between that day on Teeside, Edwards said his conversations with chief executive Gary Sweet have been “positive and healthy” with the manager adding: “He’s been extremely supportive as have the board. We know there’s inconsistencies in what we’re doing at the moment and what we’re delivering, particularly between home and away form.
“So, there’s areas there that we know we need to improve. There’s things that are going well that we need to keep doing, and there’s things, there’s mistakes that we’re making that we have to try and get right. Too many inconsistencies. Whether that’s just in-game or from game to game. So, good discussions with Gary, as always. but a lot of support.”
He added: “I know, right now, (it’s a) difficult moment. I understand that, but we’ve been good for each other and Gary said that, ‘we support our managers and we want to come through this together. It’s all of us in this together.’ And that was really heartening to hear.”
And now, with Hull City the visitors to Kenilworth Road tomorrow, Edwards is hoping he can restore faith with fans, despite some negative reactions immediately after the rout at Middlesbrough.
“It does hurt. But again, I’m not in control of external things and I can’t control what people think,” he said.
“This is an area that I’ve got to work on as well, and realise, when you’re in this job, you’re going to go through tough periods.
“It’s probably my first real tough one. It’s felt like a long time now. I’ve been getting sort of hit, been on the ropes and getting hit, and it’s something that I know I’ve got to come through and work on and I’ll be better for it.
“So, yeah, that side of it is difficult. But the only way we come through it is by working really hard, trying to become more consistent and deliver results again. That’s got to be my focus right now.”
Asked about fans getting behind the team against the Tigers, Edwards said: “I’d love it if they did. But I understand that, like every fan, and we’re all frustrated if we’re inconsistent, winning one week, then losing and not delivering the performance that they want, I get it.
“I’m never going to criticise the fans at all. They just want what’s best for the club. They were fully behind us when we’re winning and getting promoted, so you’ve got to take the rough with the smooth.
“But also I would say that we’ve gone through a lot. A lot has happened and it’s maybe never going to be just one straight road and no bumps. We as a club have been through some difficult moments and difficult times in the past, before I’ve been here, and we’ve always come through it.
“And I’d love us now to come together, to show our strength and come through this difficult moment. That’s what I would love.
“Again, I’m not in control of how other people act or react. What I’m in control of is trying to do my job to the best of my ability and our big messages this week have been doing the basics well, being more consistent in what we’re doing, to try and build that momentum again.
“So, yeah, it’d be great if everyone got with us, got behind the players, got behind all of us. And because that will certainly help, but we’re not in control of a lot of that.”
But on his efforts to change Town’s fortunes, Edwards said: “It won’t be through a lack of trying. I’m desperate for this club to be successful and do well. I hope that comes across. And I’ve not wanted to ever question what we do or anyone’s support behind us.
“We all want what’s best for the football club. That’s what we all want. And I hope people don’t think that I don’t. I really do. I love this club.”
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